The By no means Once more Group (2021 Fantasy Soccer)

If you want to dominate your fantasy football designs this year, put the buffalo chicken packaging off and take notes. You need to know which players you need and which ones to avoid. Today we focus on the latter. No, Steve, not “Head”. This is fantasy football, we don’t climb anything. My goodness. Just google it, Steve.

I see the same tragedy year after year: hard-working, self-respecting fantasy managers hire players who are destined to burn them in the end. Don’t be that guy. To help out, I’ve put together this sad little roster of players that I want to turn down this year and for years to come. Never again will their names adorn my lips on the train night. This is my “never again team”.

(I make these strict (but fair) judgments based on a hypothetical redesign of the league with 12 teams with individual QB cadres and a PPR rating of 0.5. These opinions should not be used for dynasty, devy, auction or Superflex formats are taken into account.)

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Derek Carr (QB – LV)
I’m not going to say, “Listen to me,” because anyone who says that doesn’t really believe what they’re going to say. Instead, let me say this: don’t feed Derek Carr. You can use him as a streamer if you’re extremely desperate, but if he’s your starting QB in a single QB redraft league, your season is already over. With Carr as QB, you won’t win the championship. That’s why he’s on my Never Again team. So don’t pull it in or add it to the list, except for occasional fill-ins during a bye week. My reasoning is this: his offensive line has worsened in the off-season, he doesn’t have a real stallion at WR (not including Darren Waller), he doesn’t have the rush or passing to be a top option, he’s constantly on the move Trading bloc and he plays in the toughest league in football. As a QB23, it’s better to attack a rookie with rushing upside or make sure you get to the position a little earlier with a man who could actually get into the top 12 on the position. My problem with him isn’t that he’s a bad player. It’s not bad, but it will never be good enough to win you a fantasy championship. Burn it before it burns you.

David Johnson (RB – HOU)
Man, can we just signal the bagpipes to start playing and finally bury this poor guy’s career? It feels like he’s been slowly pulling back over the past three years. Here’s a rule for 2021: don’t feed anyone for the Houston Texans. Well, maybe you take a look at Brandin Cooks, but THAT is it! Unfortunately, being a Texan isn’t my only complaint to the one that finished as RB19 in 2020. He is currently the RB33 in the ECR and that might even be too high. Last year he had Deshaun Watson get the defense to think twice about focusing on stopping the run. This year his quarterback will be … uh (check the notes) literally anyone other than Deshaun Watson. The Houston Texans are more likely to lure Brett Favre out of retirement than they are for Deshaun Watson to stand up for. Why? Steve, again, just google it. The Texans also brought in Phillip Lindsay and Mark Ingram to help bolster the backcourt. Both boys could easily take away some of David Johnson’s almost worthless touches. This is a lost year for David Johnson, but I can’t think of a much brighter future either. Sorry DJ, YA BURNT!

TY Hilton (WR – IND)
When I turned 18 and could legally buy scratch cards, I made a deal with myself: I would buy a $ 1 scratch card every day until I won. Once I won, I would never buy a scratch card again. Easy enough. I bought 40 scratch cards over 40 days and still never won. After my 40th consecutive loss, I decided to break the deal and stop wasting my money. Coincidentally, TY Hilton finished 2020 as a WR40. I’d rather have 40 worthless scratch cards than him on my fantasy team. He’s the ultimate boom-or-bust-but-mostly-bust guy. In 2020 he had three fantasy-related games. With Parris Campbell returning from his injury, Michael Pittman on the rise, and a new QB with huge problems, it’s time to bring Hilton’s fantasy career to the everlasting Garden Suites. Got it, Steve? Hilton Garden Suites? Forget it Steve, I don’t know why I’m hanging out with you.

Evan Engram (TE – NYG)
Evan Engram (says the name out loud and shakes his head). His career is like a book series with an incredible first book followed by five or six sequels, all of which look like they should be better than the first but never come close. In fact, the sequels are so much worse than the first book that you just give up on the series altogether – without ever knowing how the story will end – because you just can’t stand the mediocrity any longer. He’s on a team that added Kenny Golladay in the free agency and Kadarius Toney in the first round of the NFL Draft. Saquon Barkley returns from an injury that will consume his opportunities under the pass. Additionally, the team targeted Engram directly by adding Kyle Rudolph in the off-season. All of this means that Engram has very limited upside potential. He’s the TE14 right now, but it feels like this is his blanket. In a position with very few great players, he’s not worth the lottery. In all honesty, he just drops too many passports. Shame. Never again.

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